it's time to ask for help.

the whole sad story
so here's the situation. i am a generalized trainwreck of a person; i suffer from anxiety, depression, ADHD, a few different chronic pains (tendonitis in forearms/hands, fucked up injured shoulder, lower back pain) and some other annoying bodily conditions. i still can't drive, because i panic too easily about being a Mortal Thing in a Metal Death Machine. i have never been able to be functional on the level expected by american capitalism. despite everything, in 2016 i managed to get a part-time retail job, allowing me to finally move out of my mom's house to an apartment with my boyfriend and a roommate that's within walking distance of my workplace. i was making enough money to cover a good chunk of our bills and a bit of the rent, and food stamps allowed me to cover my own food.

four years later: my relationship is unfortunately on the rocks for various reasons and he has moved home with his parents, so my primary financial support is gone, and i'm not sure if it's coming back. and i have plantar fasciitis. probably one of the worst things i could have gotten working in retail. it's a painful condition of the foot that makes every step excruciating after a few hours at work, and it sucks ass. it started in march 2020 and i couldn't get treatment until august; it usually takes 6 months to a year to resolve, IF it resolves.

because i am poor as dirt, i am on medicaid. the oregon health authority considers plantar fasciitis "below the line," otherwise known as "not important enough to cover treatment for," which is wild because it's a long-term condition a lot of poor people get because they work on their feet 40+ hours a week. because of the abject cruelty and stupidity of US healthcare, i've had to pay for my own treatment. every 2 to 3 months i need a $50 cortisone shot. my custom insoles were a cool $400.

because of plantar fasciitis, i've had to work less. i already couldn't work a lot. i went from my already meager two 8 hour days a week to two six-hour days a week, which hurt a little but was manageable. but, as this has dragged on, my store manager has started to become hostile about accommodating me, asking "how long this is going to go on" with increasing frequency. i keep getting passive-aggressively scheduled for one four-hour shift in a week.

sedgewick, the claims handling company that's handling my ADA accommodation case, is also just being shit now, ignoring all my phone calls, making zero effort to communicate with me. my case "closed" automatically on the 8th of january and i'm now dragging HR into the mess because i can't get anything done on my own. i'm pretty scared i'm going to lose my job. if i don't fight for accommodation, i'll lose it because i'll keep having to call out or go home early. if i fight, they might try to find a way to get rid of me.

because of my not-driving situation, i have very limited job options. so as you can imagine, i'm scared right now. things are not great. i was doing ok up until about the point where my computer (which i need... to do art stuff... to keep making money) all-but-died and took its monitor with it.

i also have a cat, who costs money to take care of, and i'm afraid if i end up having to move home, i won't be able to keep her. she's very hostile to other cats and my mom already has a cat.

so that's most of it, in as few words as i can manage, which is still too many. sorry about that! tl;dr everything is shit! i've been struggling emotionally and physically for months and i need help.

expenses: some transparency
i've been making about $500 a month between work, patreon, ko-fi and the occasional gumroad sale, but it's going to be even less now that i'm getting like one four-hour shift a week sometimes.

since September i've had to spend:
$400 on custom insoles
$150 on cortisone shots
about $250 on plantar fasciitis care (high quality shoes, brace, pain relief stuff)
$800 on a new computer
$200 on a new monitor (old one blew up)

...for a grand total of $1800 in Unusual Expenses in just the last few months. i usually make like less than $10k a year, so that is a huge chunk of my financial ass. i have been helped along by some generous donors and the shitty little $600 check we got because of the plague, but my savings have still taken a hit.

i also have upcoming expenses:
new phone (mine is actively dying)
new computer chair (current one is falling apart, causing me extra pain)
new clothes (a lot of my wardrobe doesn't fit anymore; i gained a bunch of stress/plantar-fasciitis-related weight in 2020)

...and if i don't recover from plantar fasciitis, the only option left to me will be surgery. which i guess will probably have to be a gofundme. i'll have to fund my living expenses for the required recovery time as well as the surgery which is almost definitely going to be hellishly expensive. :( i don't even want to think about it.

my goals
right now i make about $95 a month from Patreon. my Ko-fi is at a weird standstill right now; a Gold membership costs $6 a month and i only have two monthly supporters giving a total of $8 between them, but i do get a lot of random unpredictable donations through it.

my hopefully realistic goal is to get to $300 a month between Patreon and Ko-Fi.

my less realistic goal is to get to $500 a month, which even if i lose my job would give me a decent amount of money to throw around monthly.

how you can help
pledges: if you can pledge a small monthly donation to my patreon or ko-fi, that is the best way to help me. don't be embarrassed if it's just a dollar! small pledges are sustainable for you and add up for me. plus you get benefits! i do a monthly art poll, and i want to get back to doing sketch requests in 2021! you also get to see the secret Supporter Clubhouse page of my website, as well as sketches and alternate versions of art i don't post publicly.

donations: if you can just toss a few bucks my way once, that's great! thank you!!

purchases: i have a very small store with some digital goods! more to come!

passing the message along: if you follow me on twitter, please RT me when i post about fundraising stuff! or just RT in me in general so more people see my art/maybe decide to support me!

also, i always want to say before you decide to throw money at me: PLEASE DO NOT GIVE ME YOUR LAST DOLLAR. please do not donate if it hurts. don't set yourself on fire to help keep me warm, ok? ok. love u.

i deeply and sincerely appreciate all financial support. i often don't know how to thank people thoroughly enough. but from the bottom of my heart and other organs, thank you.